Friday 4 November 2011

THE VEHICLE IN FRONT IS A ...

..Discovery. This may mean nothing to city folk but out here in the sticks these rusting lumbering heaps are everywhere, driven (badly) by elbow patched welly wearing faux farming fuckwits at 25mph in town and 45 out of town. They are never washed and usually contain at least one dog some hay and a fat wife who will refer to it as our Disco, which implies a place where youthful people have fun which it quite obviously isn't. If they were real farmers they would have a Landrover; what they really want is a Range Rover but are stuck with this in between, do fuck all, mobile dump of a car. Discoverys have little or no carrying capacity, are uneconomical, noisy, ugly, wallowing pieces of shit, the only discovering they should be doing is finding the nearest scrapyard.


Of course there are people who use them for off-roading, we wont even go into that. If you have one you should be ashamed.

5 comments:

Moffie said...

I'm kinda getting the message you don't like them then Pete.....

OILY RAG said...

brilliant. i was compleetly pissed off with my bastard triumph, was feeling like a rant myself but read yours and feel loads better.

shrew said...

My mate got one of these to go "adventuring" in (so he said) - got one of those universal roofracks for it as well, which looked horrible apparently, and the thing spent most of its time in the garage

ITALIAN MOTOR magazine said...

She's all fired up and ready to rock. Hey Lindsay - Let's offroad!!

CHris74 said...

LOL harsh man, I had one of these and it was awesome! went anywhere and flip the seats down it could carry fuck loads, only problems with them is the head gasket and fuel bill which did for mine in the end. They go alright too if you get your foot down and stir the box a bit, handle better with a proper load on too!
I live out in the sticks and totally get what your saying about the pretend farmer brigade that buy them.
Love the rant even tho I'll always have a soft spot for them!!
Keep up the good work!