Closer to the Hedge

A lap of the TT circuit on mobility scooters. Closer to the Hedge - experience the blood, the sweat, and the leaking colostomy bags at the world's premier motorsport event for the nearly dead.
Someone had to do it..

TRIUMPH WINS TT

The Isle of Man is possibly not the best place in the world right now. No racing to watch on TV so heres a great (and not at all biased) film from 1969, or is it ?

JUNE

TT time. If you're going you are probably already on the way hoping it's not going to piss down all week. Will the detemination of George Dance win him the sepia Senior ? and have you remembered to pack your suit and weskit?

Come and make an arse of yourself at the Farmyard Party on the 15th/16th. Reliant trikes, smelly fires, blokes dressed as women, tribute bands and big eyed twats bouncing jap 4s off the rev limiter in the middle of the night, oh and probably mud. But lovely roads to ride on, Helmsley market place, cheap beer and look at the view....and every now and then a engine goes bang at 4 in the morning, which is nice.
Get home sharpish Sunday for Fathers Day presents and my Wedding Anniversary but you could stop off at Ash's Fathers Day Retro meet at Wombleton (about 5 miles out of Helmsley).

Finally there's a 1,400 mile round trip from Malton to Jars on a dripping old Triumph. Rode the chop for about four hours last Friday............
Might take July off.

TT1971

We were there on our Tritons and A10s while the Swiss had Honda 4 cafe racers. A couple of years later they had Z1000s, we still had drippers...

NOVELTY ISLAND. LITTLE KNOWN TT FACTS

In the early 20s the "Compulsory Smoking Rule" meant that all competitiors had to wear a Capstain Full Strength at all times, as speeds increased though it was hard to enforce with many riders finishing the race with severe cheek burns or just losing their fag completely on the fast run down from Creg Ny Baa. Only the sidecar passengers were able to puff away with any satisfaction but most developed respiratory problems by the end of the week.

In place of the smoking rule the ACU then introduced a handicap system whereby works riders had the job of carrying a Boy Scout on the back during the race. In the photo the terrified little chap is seen standing to one side as the rider Graham Lister refuels. The only Scout remaining alive at the end of the 1928 Senior race was called Bob and was known as "Bob the TT job", later the term lost the letters TT and became a household phrase used for many years.

Fed up with the taunts of " I could bloody run faster" from the Solo riders the sidecar boys made them put up or shut up in 1934 and Irish Norton team rider "Baggyarse" Phil O'Pants ran against Donald and Davey Stott's outfit to try to prove his point. Sadly he died from consumption at the bottom of Bray Hill with only 37 miles to go, the final victim of the Compulsory Smoking Rule.

MODEL ?

No its Jenny Tinmouth, fastest lady ever round the Isle of Man TT with a lap of 119.9 mph in the Senior race last friday. And she prepares her own bikes ! Top girl (and prettier than Guy Martin)

TT TIME

I really should go again if only to get some new badges.





"And Mike the bike was flying through Glentrammon's deceptive curves" sorry Murray if its not word perfect, havent had a record player for about 10yrs. They are available on CD now, i should invest, great for upsetting the missis.



On ITV4 tonight and the next 10 nights at 9.00pm. Piss in a pint glass and pretend its Orkells, get sat astide the settee arm and spend an hour saying "Jesus fucking Christ".